Healthy Families

What is a healthy family?

In the past, a family has been thought of as 2 parents raising children. Today's families come in all shapes and sizes. Just as people are different, so are families. Whether or not there are 2 adults, healthy families:

communicate clearly
share responsibilities willingly
find to spend time together as a family and help meet each person's own needs.

Being an adult in a healthy family means:

being a loving partner (whether or not there are children)
setting rules and limits for children them right from wrong
supporting and caring for the family financially and emotionally
being a good example for the children.

Being a child in a healthy family means:

playing and sharing
learning how to work out conflicts with others
learning how to love self and others.

What are the key elements in creating a healthy family?

The key elements in creating a healthy family are communication and flexibility.

Communication includes:

talking regularly to other family members
using praise and positive talk to shape behavior
arguing, which helps family members learn how to manage differences of opinion
taking time to sit down as a family and discuss the events of the day or week.

Some families use mealtime as the time to talk. Others set up a regular "family meeting" time to air their issues together. It is important that this time not be interrupted by the TV, phone calls, or other distractions. The focus of this time is talking and listening. Everyone should have a chance to speak.

Effective communication focuses on "I" statements. An "I" statement tells what the speaker thinks and feels without blaming another person. Good communicators do not put down others. This makes it safe to speak openly. These communication skills take practice.

Emotional flexibility includes:

being able to laugh at yourself
being able to play
actively listening to others, which involves making eye contact, asking questions, and repeating to make sure you have understood what others are saying. Family members try to listen without judging, share their feelings, and approach problems with an open mind.

What are signs of trouble?

Life can be stressful. Trying to balance work, school, and home, and reach personal goals can cause problems for families. Many families need help to communicate and be emotionally flexible. Here are some signs that your family may be in trouble:

behaving in ways that cause problems for other family members, such as abusing alcohol or drugs
feeling like everyday routines are just too much
not being able to talk at all or withdrawing from each other
getting defensive with each other or making excuses instead of taking responsibility
constantly blaming or insulting each other and not treating other people with respect.

The first step is for everyone in the family to agree to try to make things better. The next step might be to get a book on families and healthy communication at the library or bookstore. Finally, there is family counseling. You can learn new ways to communicate, to work through problems, and to relate to one another.

Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

HIA File FMY4316F.HTM Release 9.0/2006