GRIEF AND LOSS

America has been called the land of "fast-food grief." We are somehow expected to get over a major loss in a few days, or weeks at the most. Other cultures do not expect this of people. They realize that people need much more time to heal.

It was not always this way. In Victorian England, people who had a death in the family wore solid black for a long time. Eventually, they wore dark grays and purples. If the loss was severe, they never returned to bright colors. It was a formal system and did not always help. But if you saw someone in black, you knew to treat them gently. Now, you may only get an afternoon off work for a funeral. Your loss is hidden from view. You are expected to get on with life and act as if nothing has changed, even though it has.

Any loss can cause grief. Death is the one that usually comes to mind, but there are many others. Losses like divorce, being fired, a child moving out or losing a prized possession can all result in grief. Grief can resemble depression. Sometimes people are afraid that they should not feel the way they do when they are grieving.

The following signs are all common and normal in grief:

feeling guilty about things you did or didn't do before the loss
feeling like you should have died
thinking you hear or see the person who died
problems sleeping
not wanting to eat, exercise or socialize and
wanting to isolate yourself from others

Seek help if you have great difficulty functioning in the weeks after the incident that caused the grief. If you have lost someone very close to you, like a spouse, a parent, or a child, the grief may never totally end. However, it will become bearable. It can take months to a few years to become fully functional after such a significant loss.

Grief support groups are very helpful. Counseling with a mental health professional or clergy person can make a difference. The best thing you can do with your grief is to cry and talk it out. Let others know how you feel and what they can do to support you through your grief.

Contact your healthcare provider, local hospital or hospice to learn more about grief support groups and services in your area.

Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

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