HELPING SIBLINGS TO GET ALONG

The family is the natural place for kids to learn how to get along with others and how to reach a compromise. These skills are important for a child to learn, but the process can be especially hard on parents who are tired or stressed. It is normal for brothers and sisters to bicker and try to get their parent's attention.

To help deal with this normal sibling rivalry, parents should try these basic rules:

Do not intervene in all sibling quarrels but pay attention enough to know when to step in. Arguments that involve hitting, breaking things, name-calling, or take place in public should always be interrupted. When parents step-in, they should offer choices or alternatives that show children ways to solve the problem. For example, you might say, "I see two boys pulling on a toy." Then ask them to tell you what is going on. This helps the children to learn they are responsible for solving their own problems.

Do not over-react to tattle-tales. This behavior can be a plea for attention from you or a report of a situation that parents need to know about. Listen carefully. If it is not a problem that requires help, instruct the tattler to solve the problem. If it is serious and requires attention, thank the child for reporting it.

Make sure arguments do not get physical. It is not OK to hit or hurt one another.

Practice "time out," so children have a chance to cool off and get in control of their emotions. Encourage your children to come up with a solution and congratulate them after they have resolved their differences.

While there is a great temptation to help resolve a fight, it is better to help children work it out.

Be a positive role model. Your kids will watch how you interact with others during conflicting situations.

If you feel the sibling rivalry in your home is out of control, consider speaking to your healthcare provider or a family counselor. Helpful advice can be given as well as recommendations for books on how to deal with sibling rivalry.

Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

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