SEPARATION ANXIETY: LEAVING YOUR CHILD WITH A CAREGIVER

Leaving a child with a sitter or in day care for the first time is a stressful moment for both parent and child. For the child, the fear related to this event, and any other that takes the parent out of his or her sight, is called separation anxiety. Most children will experience separation anxiety to some degree. It is most common between 6 months and 2 years of age. Do not discuss the separation before it occurs. Doing so will not help and it may make separating more difficult.

It is easier for parents to deal with this feeling when they feel comfortable with the child care provider. By choosing a safe, fun, and loving child care facility, parents can rest assured that their child will be well cared for. It is best to check the facility out well in advance of the first day and to spend some time there with the child before leaving him or her there for the first time.

This visit is a good time to introduce the child to the people that will be caring for him, and to show him around the facility. Try to find some fun distraction like an appealing toy, activity center, or playground. When parents talk positively about the place and the people show excitement in their voices, the child becomes more enthused, too.

If separating is hard for you, set up artificial opportunities to practice separating. For example, arrange to drop your child off at a friend or relative's house several additional times each week until it becomes easier for you.

When leaving a child, parents should be as calm and matter-of-fact as possible. A simple and consistent ritual will help the child transition into being away from the parent. Plan ahead so that you can separate quickly. Have all of your child's things together in one place so that you won't drag out the separation. Parents should never try to sneak away while a child is not looking. They should always say that they are leaving and let the child know when they will be back.

Sometimes having a picture of you and your family in your child's lunch-box can help soothe the fears of separation anxiety. If the child cries, remember that most of the time the crying stops very quickly, and the child begins to have some fun with the activities and other children.

When the parent returns, it is time for children to show what they did that day, and for the parent to compliment them on their projects and successes. Separation anxiety will be lessened once a child realizes that the parent will always come back. Generally, the way children handle separation is a direct reflection of how their parents handle it.

For advice on dealing with separation anxiety, contact your healthcare provider.

Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

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