TALKING WITH YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX

When kids ask questions about sex, parents sometimes worry. They may not know what to say. Depending on the child's age, parents may even worry that the child is having sex. But it's best to treat children's questions about sex as a normal part of children's curiosity about their world. When parents give honest, simple answers, a child will be likely to accept those answers. First start by finding out what they already know. This will provide a point of reference from which to start.

Preschool age children often have questions that are very specific. For example:

where do babies come from?
how they get inside the mother? or
why do only mommies breast-feed babies?

Try to answer in clear and easy to understand terms. Before responding to a question with a complex answer, ask the child what they mean. Often times, they may want to know where they were born. If a child asks, "How does the baby get inside," a simple answer that it grows inside the Mommy may be enough.

As children reach fourth and fifth grade, they or their friends may be starting to mature. Children who are entering this stage, called puberty, have many questions regarding the physical and emotional changes that happen while growing up. It is important to use the actual names and discuss their functions when talking about the body parts related to sexuality.

It is not always easy for parents to discuss sexual issues with their children. However, if children cannot learn the facts from their parents or another responsible adult, they may rely on other less credible sources for this information. If a child does not begin to ask questions by this age, it is up to the parent to bring up the subject.

There are many books at stores and libraries that can help parents learn how to talk with a child about sex. It is a good idea to talk with children before they get their first menstrual period or wet dream, so they will know that these events are normal. It is equally important to convey that sex involves human feelings, including commitment, belonging, self-esteem, and love.

Sometimes parents worry that if they talk about sex with teens it will encourage them to have sex. This is not true. Teens have many questions, and need the facts. They also need their parents' advice on family values about teens and sex. Today, with the serious consequences of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, it is more important than ever to have these talks.

It's OK to feel nervous about this topic. Our parents may not have given us much information about sex when we were kids. Relax, take a deep breath, and admit your embarrassment. Show your child that you will overcome that embarrassment because it is important.

There are many fine resources to turn to. Ask your child's doctor, school nurse, or another healthcare provider to recommend one for you.

Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

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